I lied to my family and spent the Christmas day Life and Style myself

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I always hated Christmas; I think I enjoyed it as a child. Not much since. It’s a little about food (if the turkeys and sprouts are such good news, why don’t we eat them again, huh?). It has something to do with uncontrollable consumerism. Gluttony, greed, laziness, envy, anger … funny, as a festival to be born of Christ came to embrace so many Christian sins. But that’s not about him; it is about me, my own family and my own uncertainties.

I think things got sour in my thirties when my siblings selfishly started to have their own families. Suddenly new people and generations were involved; logistically it was more complicated because it exploded what was a simple family gathering. This piece came here, a lot … oh, God, what about Sam? Where is he going? Whose turn is it? I did not participate in these talks, but I am sure they did. Anyway, they did it in my mind. I became a grumpy grandfather that no one wanted before I was a father.

I could – and should – just survive Christmas for myself. But that would make them feel bad, and I didn’t want it or to be sorry. So I went wherever there was space or I was least unwelcome to whoever it was. I ate sprouts – mmm – and tried to be an entertaining uncle and not to approve of the obviously torn mountains of gifts (while I also hypocritically apologized when I pulled out my own deplorable). krtĂ­k quickly hit additions). I don’t think I fooled anyone.

And then I fooled them one year – everyone. Atypically and unlikely I found myself in a situation known as a girlfriend (I had them before, but not at Christmas). She came with her family and asked me if I wanted to spend Christmas with them. No, of course I wouldn’t feed it, but it gave me an idea. That’s very nice, I said, but I spend it with my family. If I hadn’t been there, they would have been destroyed. (Ha!)

See where it’s going? Then I told my family that I was spending Christmas with my girlfriend’s family – I wanted to get to know them better. And my family hid any relief they could feel. At least they didn’t have to regret me because I wasn’t alone at home …

I may have apologized, but I enjoyed it myself

That’s exactly what and where I was, of course. I myself, like me. I had a steak – with fries, no keys – and a nice bottle of Rioja. (I don’t really remember it was a rioja, but in my opinion it was a degree or two above the usual. It could even break the 10 pound barrier.) I lost my friends and family. Yes, a little gluttony may have been involved, but it is difficult to remain sinless for Christmas. I went for a walk; London is beautiful through Christmas. There were no arguments about what to watch; I hit some of the films I missed last year. I may have apologized, but I enjoyed it myself. It was perfect – the best Christmas of all time. But impossible to repeat.

It turns out that the girlfriend was not just for Christmas, but for a lifetime (so far). We have done several generations of our own, and since you can imagine it has been impossible to smuggle. But that’s okay.

I still hate Christmas because of guinea pigs, sprouts and all the sinners. Also packaging – I really do not like packaging. But now I don’t have to pretend to hate it: I’m Grinch, but out and proud. Which is liberating to me, even fun. And I will always have memories of the year I was single.

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